Perspectives: Let's talk about sex

    It is biology, or rather human nature, to be sexually attracted to someone. You can just blame it on the hormones. Although many people choose to abstain from sexual activity until marriage, many college students find a sense of sexual curiosity with their new found freedom in college and away from home. According to a Discovery News article entitled, “How Much  Sex are College Students Really Having?” 86 percent of college students have had between 1 and 10 sexual partners. Regardless of how much sex you have had or how many partners, it is important to know that there is no specific way to have sex. We all know how the pieces fit together. What we all need to understand about sex is the aspects of safety, experimentation, and appreciation are the major components to having a satisfying sex life. 

    The number one rule of having sex is safety. Wrap it up. No glove, no love.  Always carry your own condoms for emergencies.  No matter how cute someone is, it doesn’t make them immune from catching an STD. 15-24 year olds account for only 25% of sexually active Americans, yet they make up 48% of all newly diagnosed STDs each year.  These stats also come from the aforementioned article. Your health is nothing to play around with. If your partner is unwilling to wear a condom, or insists that you do not, chances are they did not use protection with their previous partners.  Get tested regularly if you change sexual partners regularly. There is no shame in getting tested. If you are too embarrassed to get tested, then you are not mature enough to be having sex at all anyway.   

    Everyone knows that to have good sex with someone, you have to be comfortable with them. You have to trust them, and they have to trust you. You wouldn’t let just anyone have your cell phone for a night, so treat your genitals the same way.  Having a connection with the person you plan to be sexually active with makes everything better and less awkward. Aretha Franklin said it best with, R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Always respect yourself and always respect your partner. The worst feeling in the world is being disrespected by someone that you are very vulnerable with. Know your boundaries of what you are willing to do and what you are not. Don’t allow anyone to talk you into doing something that you are not comfortable with doing. Educate yourself on your body, and the body of the opposite sex. (Or the same, we don’t judge) Knowing your body and how it functions can make a world of difference in knowing how to approach different sexual situations. 

    After you have established a connection with your partner, and you are both being safe and responsible, have fun and experiment. Do research and find out what you like and what you don’t. When it comes down to it, what is the point in having sex if you aren’t enjoying it? Be open-minded and try new things, without compromising your personal beliefs. Remember, props aren’t just for stage plays, and food is not just for the kitchen. 

    Talking about sex is no longer a taboo subject. From TV to social media, sex is sold to our generation as a norm and something that everyone does. If you are one of the strong willed individuals that plans to wait until marriage to have sex, don’t let anyone shame you into feeling bad. I can almost guarantee that many of us wish that we would have waited as well. 

    Sexual frustration is a real thing. Really, you can be diagnosed by the doctor as being sexually frustrated. No matter how bad the struggle may get, never put the health or respect for yourself or your partner at risk.