Your all nighted how-to

So you did what every normal college kid does at least once in their college career. You put off that paper until the last minute (and by the last minute I mean the night before it’s due.) You go through the five stages of college kid panic:

Denial: “That’s not due for like ever. I’ve got time.”
Denial: “Still no problem. I’ve got weeks.”

The Syllabus Check: “OHMYGOD! That’s due when?!”
Denial: “That’s not going to take me very long. I can knock out ten pages, a bibliography, and a presentation in one night, no problem.”

And finally, Acceptance: “Someone start the coffee and to be a really long night.” These are the nights you learn how bad black coffee really is because you ran out of creamer around two hours ago, or how much you really love your best friend because he went with you to get Sheetz at 3 in the morning since you can’t do this without mac’n’cheese bites. So here’s a quick how-to guide on getting through your Campus Beautiful All Nighters.

Tip 1: Find a comfortable place to work.

Yes, we’ve all heard this one, but there’s a reason everyone tells you this. Stress knots in your back off a hard chair are ten times worse at 2:27 a.m. than during the normal sunlit hours. So grab a comfy chair and a snuggie , head to your desk, and get to it.

Tip 2: Caffeine, Caffeine, Caffeine. Hello coffee, Mountain Dew, Monster, anything that has a high caffeine content.

Pick your poison: This is the fuel source that will get you through those really rough, weird hours in the morning where you don’t know if you’re actually writing about the right topic. While I wouldn’t suggest downing these one right after another, they can certainly be a great study aid when you need to push through that last painful paragraph on the sociology of Bolshevik Revolution.

Tip 3: Focus. I know it can really suck not to check Face-book or Yik Yak or Twitter, but that is a major distraction. Social Media tends to suck you in and not let you go until could’ve gotten you through a little more of that next page. So no Facebook, and definitely no Pinterest.

Tip 4: Take a little break. You can’t write or retain informayion as well if you’re literally just cramming it into your head or throwing it on to the page. Take a break. Get some water, run to McDonalds, do something to give your brain a little bit of a breather. A paper that you walk away from and come back to fix will look so much better than one you constantly wrote on until your thumbs fall off. Quality over Quantity people...as long as you reach the page minimum.

Tip 5: Laugh a little bit. You have to. Use the comedy sta- tions on Pandora, throw on At some point during the night you’ll probably end up slaphappy and things that aren’t really that funny will make you laugh till you cry. But once you’ve hit that point, you may as well go with it. So laugh a little.

So it’s finally 8:30 a.m. and you still haven’t been to bed BUT, you’ve successfully finished everything and you feel this little sense of pride. Go grab some breakfast in the caf and get ready for the rest of the day because tonight, you sleep the sleep of a champion because you’re going to pass. You tell yourself you won’t procrastinate again because you really can’t handle this much of a lack of sleep but who are you really kidding?