Rock Lord Enchants Campus
After a light meteor shower in the area last night, a local jogger found a bizarre, pulsing green rock had landed in the middle of Concord’s baseball field.
The jogger, who wishes to remain anonymous, was on his/her morning jog when they spotted an eerie glow coming from the baseball field. As the jogger approached the field, they saw a large rock, about the size of a car, had crashed into the pitcher’s plate and was giving off a green, warm light. The jogger reported the find to the local authorities, and the rock is currently under investigation by the college’s geologists. “It was just sitting there,” the jogger said, “and I’ve never seen anything like it. It actually gave me a headache to look at. Is that weird?”
Geologists have not been able to identify what the meteorite is made of yet. “So far it looks like some kind of substance not found on Earth,” Dr. Carl Manford, a geologist researching the rock, commented. “It’s an amazing find, and I feel very lucky to have been brought in to research it. Maybe we’ll name it Carlite,” Dr. Manford laughed. “Bl’thiok Nanthul. Oh, excuse me. Don’t know what happened there.”
The research team has stated that there is no apparent danger to the community, and that anyone interested is free to see the mysterious meteorite. “It’s not radioactive,” according to Dr. Manford. “I would highly encourage anyone to come to the site and see the beautiful specimen we have here. It’s very enchanting. I could look at it forever,” Dr. Manford said, wiping some droll from his lip.
Athens Town Council was initially hesitant to let the rock remain in the area. In a public statement, the Town Council said, “Due to the light produced by the rock, we would request that it be taken to a secure research facility where it can be properly studied, and not left for the Athens community to see.” However, after going to the baseball field, the Town Council retracted and revised its statement. “Everyone should go see it,” the new statement reads. “It will change your life for the better.”
A Facebook group started by Nancy Kelsea, a Concord student, has already been made in honor of the rock called Rock Worship Center. “The name’s a joke,” Nancy told the Concordian, “but I really do think people should go see it. Obviously no one is worshipping this thing, but you might want to after you see it and there’s nothing wrong with that. Have you seen it yet? If you haven’t we can go see it right now, if you want.”
The Concordian is able to confirm through its reporters that the meteorite is actually incredible. Staff have been quick to mention the rock’s mystifying qualities, and reported that they felt inspired by the sense of community the rock gives anyone who sees it. “We have our own language now, us rockers,” one writer commented. “If you haven’t seen it, you wouldn’t understand. You’ve just got to go see it before you can Klq’manbtic or Pyqetishm. Non-rockers just don’t get it.”
Some students have yet to see the glorious messenger from above, despite living so close to perfection. “I don’t get what the big deal is, it’s just a rock,” one ignorant fool commented. “If you’ve seen one rock you’ve seen them all, you know? Why’re you scowling at me like that? Get your hands off of me!” the naïve scum commented before seeing the rock of his own volition.
A local law requiring citizens of Mercer County to see the rock is currently being drafted.
The Concordian, which will soon change its name to Y’Tholnian Daily Text, will keep you notified of any developments involving the One True Lord of Stars.
Editor's Note: Always check your sources.
Get Top Stories Delivered Weekly
More The Concordian News Articles
- Police on “Easter Egg” Hunt for Library Thief
- Concord Mascot Loses Tail in Hunting Accident
- Mysterious Door Found Beneath Student Center
Recent The Concordian News Articles
Discuss This Article
MOST POPULAR THE CONCORDIAN
"Bohemian Rhapsody" Will Rock You By Laura Buchanan
"Fallout 76": A Small State in a Big Game By Caleb Zopp
"Girl in the Spider's Web": A Must-See for Men and Women By Savannah Cooper
"The Grinch": More Science Than Art By Shannon C. White
GET TOP STORIES DELIVERED WEEKLY
FOLLOW OUR NEWSPAPER
LATEST THE CONCORDIAN NEWS
- Campus Carry Bill Receives Opposition from College Leaders
- "Bohemian Rhapsody" Will Rock You
- "Fallout 76": A Small State in a Big Game
- "Girl in the Spider's Web": A Must-See for Men and Women
- "The Grinch": More Science Than Art
- Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease Spreads on College Campuses
- Concord Senior Oral Frazier Signs Book Deal
RECENT THE CONCORDIAN CLASSIFIEDS
OUTSIDE THE LINES
- Take Charge of Tomorrow: Preventing Diabetes Health...
- Effortless Holiday Hosting: Simple Tips to Keep Your...
- There’s More To Vision Health Than Meets the Eye
- Medications and Wellness Essentials Delivered to Your...
- Understanding Spam—And How To Stop It
- 1 in 5 Vehicles on the Road Has an Open Recall—Yours C...
- A Difficult Diagnosis Sparks Hope and Support for...
- Fall For Improved Vehicle Protection
- Six Ways To Save Money This Holiday Season
- BigFuture Resources Help Students Discover College,...
FROM AROUND THE WEB
- Radiation Therapists Play a Critical Role in Our Lives
- BookTrib's Bites: Four Enthralling Autumn Reads
- Trump's Flawed Tariff Proposal
- How Artificial Intelligence Intersects with Energy
- 6 Reasons Fiberglass is the Pool Material of Choice for...
- BookTrib’s Bites: Four Unforgettable Reads
- Navigating “Gramnesia” This Holiday Season
- BookTrib’s Bites: Dive Into These Four Exciting Fall Reads
- Easy Monster Margarita is No Trick, All Treat
- Help Marine Toys for Tots Deliver Hope to Children in...